what do you regret not saying?
Dec. 4th, 2005 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
veronica_marsI’ll never forget the night that Weevil and--or--his band of minions blew out the back window of Logan’s X-Terra, spraying us with glass, scaring me half to death, and utterly wrecking the mood.
The night, prior to the gun-blast, had been perfect. It was our first actual date, and if it was taking place a few months into our already established relationship, it wasn’t exactly our fault. Between the murder accusations and the baggage we were both hefting, it was pretty much a wonder that we made it to a first date at all--and if it also happened to be our last date, well, maybe that’s just fate.
He was dropping me off when it happened--or, rather, we were procrastinating. We were making out in his car when it happened, and his hands were all over me, and the night had already been so amazing that if we hadn’t been in front of my house, or if we hadn’t been in his car, I remember thinking that it would have been the moment that I lost my conscious virginity to Logan Echolls.
And then of course, I remember reality setting in. Where I was, who my father was. Exactly how long it would take my father to figure out what Logan and I were up to and how much longer it would take him to rush outside to defend my honor--and then ground me for life.
I could have seen any of that happening--not that I particularly wanted my first time to be in a cramped X-Terra within full view of the neighborhood, but that? Really not the point. What I didn’t expect was Logan--when he told me he was in love with me.
I never expected things to go that far, from the Camelot to the beach to Logan’s hearing to the car that night, I never realized that things were going to become so intense. And I panicked, I think. I made a comment about guys and second base and I kissed him and then we were covered with splinters of glass.
And that is what I regret - I regret not telling Logan that I loved him, too. I was--I am--just so afraid of what’s going to happen to him. Lilly was spontaneous and impetuous and stupid, and now Logan’s carrying a gun, but at least Lilly knew that I loved her.
Logan knows I care, but on the surface we’re still enemies, and I hate that. I hate that more than anything, and I don’t know how to change that without hurting Duncan again. I’m tired of hurting people.
The night, prior to the gun-blast, had been perfect. It was our first actual date, and if it was taking place a few months into our already established relationship, it wasn’t exactly our fault. Between the murder accusations and the baggage we were both hefting, it was pretty much a wonder that we made it to a first date at all--and if it also happened to be our last date, well, maybe that’s just fate.
He was dropping me off when it happened--or, rather, we were procrastinating. We were making out in his car when it happened, and his hands were all over me, and the night had already been so amazing that if we hadn’t been in front of my house, or if we hadn’t been in his car, I remember thinking that it would have been the moment that I lost my conscious virginity to Logan Echolls.
And then of course, I remember reality setting in. Where I was, who my father was. Exactly how long it would take my father to figure out what Logan and I were up to and how much longer it would take him to rush outside to defend my honor--and then ground me for life.
I could have seen any of that happening--not that I particularly wanted my first time to be in a cramped X-Terra within full view of the neighborhood, but that? Really not the point. What I didn’t expect was Logan--when he told me he was in love with me.
I never expected things to go that far, from the Camelot to the beach to Logan’s hearing to the car that night, I never realized that things were going to become so intense. And I panicked, I think. I made a comment about guys and second base and I kissed him and then we were covered with splinters of glass.
And that is what I regret - I regret not telling Logan that I loved him, too. I was--I am--just so afraid of what’s going to happen to him. Lilly was spontaneous and impetuous and stupid, and now Logan’s carrying a gun, but at least Lilly knew that I loved her.
Logan knows I care, but on the surface we’re still enemies, and I hate that. I hate that more than anything, and I don’t know how to change that without hurting Duncan again. I’m tired of hurting people.
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OOC
Date: 2005-12-06 10:58 pm (UTC)Re: OOC
Date: 2005-12-07 12:41 am (UTC)Re: OOC
Date: 2005-12-07 03:10 am (UTC)OOC
Date: 2005-12-07 11:37 pm (UTC)This was awesome obviously.
Re: OOC
Date: 2005-12-08 11:10 pm (UTC)OOC
Date: 2005-12-08 04:37 pm (UTC)Especially this line:
Lilly was spontaneous and impetuous and stupid, and now Logan’s carrying a gun, but at least Lilly knew that I loved her.
You guys need to write more. All three of you. All the time. Having real lives is NOT an excuse ;)
In all seriousness, I always look forward to reading anything you guys write. good job.
Re: OOC
Date: 2005-12-08 11:19 pm (UTC)The three of us have plans to coordinate and take TM's VM fandom -- ourselves -- by storm. Just you wait.
But thank you so much for your awesome feedback. I promise to try and post more. I totally suck at getting things together in a timely fashion. I just need to be reminded sometimes.
OOC
Date: 2005-12-10 10:52 pm (UTC)Re: OOC
Date: 2005-12-10 10:56 pm (UTC)I don't really have a RL either, just other muses yammering away in my brain trying to knock poor duncan teh-fuck-out. -pets him-
It's awsome to hear someone likes what we're doing since I think the three of us love it too and LOVE writing with each other heh, they are my VM-Soulmates heh.
Thanks for the feedback, Doesn't her Veronica just OWN?