veronica_mars (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
veronica_mars) wrote2006-08-07 04:14 am
veronica_mars) wrote2006-08-07 04:14 am
Entry tags:
Have you ever woken up in the morning and not remembered what you did the night before?
This is one of those questions that are just designed to hit close to home. I mean, sure, I suppose there’s the “fun” kind of not remembering what happened the night before—unfortunately I’m not familiar with that type of situation (and if you’re looking for that kind of story I suggest you head on over to talk to Logan).
Every high school has the girl who wakes up the morning after a totally kicking party, and walking into said party is the last thing she remembers – and before Shelly Pomroy’s End of the Year party, I never thought that girl would be me. My dad was the Sheriff. He’d raised me better than to just accept drinks from strangers at parties.
But I was lonely. I was scared. And I was out to prove something to everybody there. Logan Echolls, Dick Casablancas, Madison Sinclair – everybody who’d had anything less than complimentary to say to or about me since Lilly’d died, I was going to show them.
Turned out, they showed me, and I just let them. Liquid courage? I guess you could call it that. According to the stories, I did plenty that I wouldn’t have done under any other circumstances, and according to Meg it’s probably best that I don’t remember any of it.
Still. Waking up alone in a strange bed, memories hazy at best, underwear haphazardly tossed into a corner – I don’t think that’s anybody’s idea of a good time. Spending the next year wondering who was with you, how you got there… that’s even worse.
But I got my answers and they didn’t seem so unbearable at first. Salt licks. Making out with Shelly Pomroy. I probably could’ve lived without knowing that I at least sort-of made out with Dick Casablancas, but I didn’t remember any of it and, like Meg said, it was probably a blessing in disguise.
And when I found out that I was with Duncan that night, well. It hurt to not remember it, because I just wanted to be okay. The problem is that there was this supposedly amazingly tender moment or whatever and in my head I’d been raped. For over a year, it had been rape.
But I still – I started to heal. I got better. And then in the space of an instant I found out that it hadn’t just been Duncan, and I hadn’t been conscious or in any way consenting or anything – and it all came rushing back.
I don’t know if it’s here to stay. But I’ve learned my lesson about not remembering. Whether it’s the result of a great party or GHB in your rum&coke, you never really know what you might have done. Or said.
Just ask Logan.
Muse: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 456
Every high school has the girl who wakes up the morning after a totally kicking party, and walking into said party is the last thing she remembers – and before Shelly Pomroy’s End of the Year party, I never thought that girl would be me. My dad was the Sheriff. He’d raised me better than to just accept drinks from strangers at parties.
But I was lonely. I was scared. And I was out to prove something to everybody there. Logan Echolls, Dick Casablancas, Madison Sinclair – everybody who’d had anything less than complimentary to say to or about me since Lilly’d died, I was going to show them.
Turned out, they showed me, and I just let them. Liquid courage? I guess you could call it that. According to the stories, I did plenty that I wouldn’t have done under any other circumstances, and according to Meg it’s probably best that I don’t remember any of it.
Still. Waking up alone in a strange bed, memories hazy at best, underwear haphazardly tossed into a corner – I don’t think that’s anybody’s idea of a good time. Spending the next year wondering who was with you, how you got there… that’s even worse.
But I got my answers and they didn’t seem so unbearable at first. Salt licks. Making out with Shelly Pomroy. I probably could’ve lived without knowing that I at least sort-of made out with Dick Casablancas, but I didn’t remember any of it and, like Meg said, it was probably a blessing in disguise.
And when I found out that I was with Duncan that night, well. It hurt to not remember it, because I just wanted to be okay. The problem is that there was this supposedly amazingly tender moment or whatever and in my head I’d been raped. For over a year, it had been rape.
But I still – I started to heal. I got better. And then in the space of an instant I found out that it hadn’t just been Duncan, and I hadn’t been conscious or in any way consenting or anything – and it all came rushing back.
I don’t know if it’s here to stay. But I’ve learned my lesson about not remembering. Whether it’s the result of a great party or GHB in your rum&coke, you never really know what you might have done. Or said.
Just ask Logan.
Muse: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 456