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To say that I didn’t expect Logan to show up that day at the Camelot would be an understatement. I mean, sure I gave him the hints and sure we were mending fences, building bridges, or doing whatever it is that ex-friends do once the ex-factor no longer applies, but I never figured Logan to be the knight in shining armor type. He sure proved me wrong, dashing to my rescue and saving the day. Then I kissed him – and he kissed me – and it all went to hell.

I shouldn’t say “hell” like it’s a bad thing because please, give Logan a little bit of credit. “Heaven” is a far more apt description, but mostly? It felt like reality was slipping out of my grasp and I had to cling to Logan just to stay grounded.

And I must admit, there are far worse things to hold onto. Still. That doesn’t make it any less dangerous.

You see, when your life is as complicated as mine is, filled to the brim with AP classes and cases to solve, then the last thing you need is to be making out with your dead best friend’s ex-boyfriend on the balcony of a sleazy motel. Your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. My life would make the best trashy romance novel.

Or maybe not. Even the campiest Harlequin gets its happy ending and all I have are uneven and frayed edges – things need to unravel more before I can tie it all back together. Frustrating? You betcha. No more frustrating, however, than carrying on a secret love affair with the boy long-established as my archenemy.

What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment. Whenever Logan and I weren’t attached at the lips, I was busy feeling guilty about driving Duncan out of the country, about keeping Logan secret from everybody, about getting a B on my Euro test. The smart thing would’ve been to let go, but I pulled him closer.

After all, things aren’t wrong until they stop feeling right, right? Right.

Wrong.

To say that I loved every second spend in his vicinity would be an exaggeration, because there were difficult times. The murder accusations, the night he showed up at my apartment looking like he’d just been beaten half to death by a group of bikers. My similes were particularly on that evening and things weren’t good, or okay, or – they were spiraling violently out of control, in fact, but I didn’t realize it.

When the impact of the situation finally caught up with me, when I finally saw the whole picture for what it was, that’s when I tried to take it all back. I broke up with Logan, settled into a comfortable relationship with my familiar and safe ex-boyfriend, and things started to get back to normal.

Veronica vs. Logan. Not that way I’d have wagered after everything we’d gone through, but infinitely familiar. Comfortable but not too close.

It’s funny how one kiss can change your life so drastically. Maybe it’s tragic. But it’s nice to be back in the driver’s seat, even if I’m driving alone.

Muse: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 509
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veronica_mars

December 2007

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