veronica_mars: (Default)
[personal profile] veronica_mars
As the standard grist for the Neptune High School gossip mill, I make it a point to keep my weaknesses hidden - or at least generally camouflaged. After all, the last thing I need is to give my 09’er “friends” more ammunition - they’d love to see me gone. But in this case, I might as well admit it. Gather ‘round, pirates, because you’re about to get the dish.

I hardly ever relax.

I know. It’s not exactly the Zimmerman note, but you’ve all been here - and if you haven’t, you’ve certainly caught the coverage on CNN. A bus full of high school students goes off a cliff, pretty much everybody loses a friend... add to the tragedy the fact that I was supposed to be on that bus and I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from.

Especially now that I’ve realised that everything - all of it - was meant for me. I should have been on that bus and not just because of that stupid field trip. Meg in her coma, everybody else in their - not that I want to elaborate, but all of it was because somebody wants me dead. Again.

It makes it difficult to just kick back and enjoy life, knowing that people have died because Aaron Echolls wants to kill me. Might I add, once more for emphasis, again?

I don’t know how Logan and I did it last summer. Maybe it was because we had each other - or maybe we were just lucky. With Duncan, the only viable means of comfort is still tainted by the past eighteen months, though I don’t expect either of us to admit it. Frankly, I don’t know how any of us make it through. You’d think the tension would be enough to make us shatter, but somehow we’re all still whole.

Physically, at least. I can’t vouch for the mental state of any one of us - and maybe that’s best.

So, as far as relaxing? I don’t. I can’t. I’m always on guard, always ready - so take that as a warning.
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December 2007

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