what does karma mean to me?

[veronica_mars]

I don’t want to answer this question. At all. I don’t like the connotations associated with it, and I’d happily defer--for the second week in a row, mind you--my answer over to Logan. Unfortunately, however (and I believe this is a first), Logan is playing the playing the silent card. Frankly, I’m surprised he can hold the expletives down.

And for once I can empathize.

Karma was all well and good when I was young and idealistic, when my best friend hadn’t been murdered senselessly, when the rest of my friends hadn’t turned their collective backs on me, and when my mom hadn’t decided to turn into a boozehound, jump on the bandwagon, and bail on me and my dad.

When all the pieces of my life still fit together neatly, then yes, I was a believer. What better explanation was there? If I was the perfect daughter to my parents, the perfect best friend to Lilly, the perfect student, the perfect girlfriend to Duncan, then why, logically, would it not follow that life would, in fact, be perfect?

It’s karma after all. Good begets good. What goes around comes around.

I can’t believe that anymore. I can’t credit the cosmos with Lilly’s demise when I know what happened between her and Aaron Echolls. I saw the videos. “Fun With Lilly.” Now there was an understatement.

The problem with karma lies with the fact that it’s not individual to each person. I might’ve been a good girl, but acting nice isn’t what earns you a charmed life. Lilly would be pleased to know I’ve finally absorbed this life lesson.

I just wish I could’ve gotten that some other way--some way that didn’t involve happening upon my best friend’s corpse, but we all have our problems.

I can just hear you now. “Don’t you know any stories that don’t involve ‘and then I happened upon my best friend’s corpse, Veronica?’” The answer to that is yes, but we’ll get to that some other time. You know, when we’re not busy discussing karma.

I don’t know why I’m still talking about karma. After everything that’s happened over the past couple of years, I think I’m about due for things to start turning around. See, if karma existed, my normal plan would be right on track.

But it doesn’t, it’s not, and I’m back where I was last year--sort of--in the middle of a mystery, trying to figure out who wants me dead. And why. Karma? No thanks. I have a tough enough time dealing with reality here in Neptune.

Comments

OOC

[dichotomyofsara.livejournal.com]

Hey!

I just joined a new VM rpg, over at veronicam_rpg. It's an AU (Jake Kane went to prison instead of Abel Koontz and Veronica is still in with the 09ers... Kind of interesting!). Anyway, we do have a Veronica (and a Logan, and a Lilly, and a Mac... but that's IT), but we would love it if you would consider joining us if you're interested.

I was CC'd on the email Brandy sent you. We were also wondering if we could make a little advertisement at fakesmile_ooc for our RPG. We're desperate for players (good writers) and as I've already said, I love the work you guys do.

Anyway, hope you're enjoying the holidays,

Lexie.

Re: OOC

[veronicamars.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's totally fine with me. If you just want to join the fakesmile_ooc community, I'll let you in and you can make your post. As for me, I know things are way too crazy for me to be joining another game, especially with fandom_muses being so crazy-active, but there are probably lots of people in FaS who'd be interested.

I hope the game works out for you!

-Ashley

Re: OOC

[dichotomyofsara.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. We really appreciate it.

I applied to the F_M ooc community too...

Lexie.