Aug. 21st, 2006

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What is your most powerful memory?

The past few years have been nothing if not memorable – from getting trapped inside of a burning refrigerator by a psychotic movie star to falling in love with said movie star’s son, I’ve run the full gamut of emotions since Lilly died. From tragic to ironic to absurd, I think I’ve hit every level; but while Aaron and Logan certainly represent powerful moments of my teenage years, I don’t think I’m wrong in stating that none of it would’ve happened if Aaron hadn’t bashed Lilly’s brains in.

I remember everything about that night. Sometimes I close my eyes and Lilly’s body is all I can see, the blood congealing in her long blonde hair and her face wearing an expression of permanent –

I guess permanence is the only word, because she didn’t look peaceful. There was blood everywhere for crying out loud, how can that be peace? And she didn’t look defiant, which I think, under the circumstances, is how she went out. But who knows? The Kanes and Clarence Weidman tampered with her body so much, I have no idea what she might’ve looked like.

Pissed off, I hope. Furious that that bastard had cut her life short, even by a second. Instead, she just looked dead. And Lilly? She was never anything if she wasn’t alive. When Aaron ripped her out of the world, he took away the brightest piece of my life – I don’t care what she’d done to him, how she’d wronged him.

She might’ve screwed him, but he killed her. And standing there at the side of the Kane pool, watching as my dad’s guys got her out of there, I may not have known who killed her just then – but I swore that they weren’t going to get away with it. And that? That vow?

That’s the most vivid memory I’ve got. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being haunted by it.

Name: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 318

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